My town is being over run by Poles, so much so they have started opening their own shops to cater for their own needs. Anyway this story goes back a few months but my beloved has just reminded me of this little gem. We were driving through town and the Poles had opened a new shop and had called it the 'Polish shop'. I clocked it out the corner of my eye and knowing her as i do thought, I know what's coming next. True to form she blurts out "polish..............why would anyone want to open a shop that sell's polish!"
Sitting in a posh Chinese restaurant a few years back my mate had brought his dippy ( but stunning ) bird along, after the meal the waiter came over and asked would we like any desserts etc someone asked what was on the dessert menu and the waiter informed us that Lychee's were on a special.....the dippy bird at the top of her voice has said 'Lychee's! I don't like any sort of cheese!
Dirty old river, must you keep rolling, Flowing into the night.......
" LINESMAN HE WAS NEVER OFF OUT....OFF AIR ..........OFF BEHIND , OH you know what I mean " she said sat in the stand with all the lads looking at her who all know Im the Keeper coach at Hucknall Town F.C. (Blue Square North) I was in the dugout on the otherside of the ground but god did I hear about it within minutes . She was right though he was offside but unfortunately she was defending Northwich Vics. the away team ... she thought they were Hucknall cos they had a better kit and were winning ! For fucks sake.
"I live for myself and answer to no one." ~ Steve McQueen. " I wear what I like and I like what I wear." ~ Adam. " It's always been just part of the culture. Growing up, for most working-class kids, is all about football, music and clothes. You might not have much money, but whatever you have got, you're going to look good." ~ Weller.
I could write a book about mine i really could, here's another couple of her pearler's.
She insisted the word Epiphany is pronounced, eppy fanny.
When a new girl started working part-time from an agency the new girl mentioned she was at Uni. "oh right, what you studying" asked my mrs, trying to come across all intelligent like. "Economics" says the bird. My mrs straight in, "COOKING...........why would anyone want to go to university to study..........COOKING!"
OFF HAND
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Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:29 pm (Last edited: Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:31 pm)
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