So, we're driving along the road and get caught up in a minor queue of traffic. I'm sitting at the wheel and notice ahead a big sign outside a large vehicle repair workshop, the sign quite innocently asked for bodybuilders, I thought "I know whats coming next" and true to form she didn't disappoint.

"BODYBUILDERS!" she screeched, "Why would you put an advert up for a load of meatheads".

So, we're watching Wheeler Dealers and Edd has to make a car green to make it legal, so she says "What colour was it before then?"

Wor lass told me the car was making a funny noise on Thursday, drove it, sounded like pads, and possibly a bearing as it’s was a constant, whirling sound, got it looked at Friday morning, new pads and the callipers fucked as it’s been driven for that long with no pads the calliper won’t fully retract as it’s seized,
She insists that it’s only just started making the noise,
Thick cow

Now, I didn't know this, but apparently Leyton Orient is in Scotland

So, we're watching one of those escape to the country type bollocks, they are looking for a property in Cheshire. So she turns to me and says "we'll see some nice properties on here, they are looking to spend 500k" ( @ me staring at the wall ). All of a sudden a map appears showing you the property and how far it is from Manc airport. She turns to me and says
.."Wow, I never knew that, I thought Cheshire was in London"